It is perhaps easier in the digital age to make dificult decisions and do courageous things. All, and I mean every last one of my major life changes was made by clicking a button on my mouse that made something happen on the internet (going to China in 2005, quitting my job and coming here in 2010, getting work here).

I put in all my information, think about it for a while, sometimes a few days, I am nervous to the point of shaking and finally I click the button. I could say no, still, after it's done, but normally things just happen and then i go along with it. People call, the day to get on the plane arrives...

This change isnt so huge. I just put an ad on mundoanuncio.com that I will give English classes in Jerez 3 days a week. Now comes the hard part, but I probably dont even need to face it yet, thanks to Geoffrey letting me stay in his apartment while i look for a place. the hardest part is telling Pepa to start looking for someone else. She is a very nice lady but I am turned to jello thinking she will be pissed off at me for wanting to leave during the summer.

I have only Wed and Friday mornings at Zaizi and Wednesday nights with the one Paco, and then Marcelino. He cancels so often that it wont be as hard to tell him that he is down to two possible days, once things get going in Jerez and that he will have to commit or pay in advance or something, to reserve my precious time in Sevilla on those two days.

So there. I am freaked out about everything. Adrenaline rushing. I am scared to make the move but I dont think it's wrong. Pretty much everything is confusing and scary - work, place to live, men... I just want to curl into a ball and stay in one place and do nothing but then i would starve. Oh well, here goes again.

The next step is to arrange my time, demand enough money and start making shoes or at least clothes.