Don't know why I seem to gravitate to older ladies. The trouble is, things always turn out badly to very badly with them. I would be way better off with a young, casual guy. I once looked at an apartment of young guys. They were normal, but more importantly, really calm. Like nothing would ever ruffle them, except futbol, maybe, or a passing chica.

You'd think I'd know myself better by now. Think I might have figured it out this time. Kim cannot live with people who make all the rules, who are picky, and who are nervous, agitated or anxious. When a person makes even small criticisms under these circumstances, or nags, indicates frustration or something resembling anger without first giving a warning as to the fact that the issue is an issue, this is a recipe for disaster. Many people dont know basic appropriate behaviour - you can't get angry with someone when you haven't made it clear that their behaviour bothers you first. Or it's better not to say things in an accusatory manner, even though you feel you are right. Kim does not handle these kinds of behaviours. At all. There is a big X across that person, that says they cannot be trusted, and this does not give Kim the desire to sit in the living room with them. This kind of person normally does not like to be told, even in an un-emotional way, that their behaviour is disturbing. Hence, the relationship ends.

Living alone may not happen yet, but living in Jerez will. July 15.

Saturday I went to Matalascañas with Mara and Daniela. We started off around noon in Mara's car. That was dumb. All of Seville was headed to the beach as well. It was like the highway out of Willingdon towards the Fraser Valley on a Friday afternoon. We finally got there several hours later. This beach is in Huelva, looking west out to the Atlantic. You walk along a boardwalk for a kilometer, through pine forest (low, rounded top pines), before you come down off the dunes onto the beach. there are calcite type rocks with interesting formations and very few people at this beach. (Still enough people, compared to beaches at home, but few for here).

On the way I asked why people go to the beach in Spain in the summer, to cool down. My experience in Cadiz has been that it makes absolutely no sense at all to go to a place where there is no shade, and you are utterly baking under the sun, in the height of summer, rather than stay in your roasting but at least shady house in the city. My question was answered in Matalascañas. Despite the sun and 40+ weather in Seville, there was quite a breeze and the ocean was cold -  enough to turn one person's hands blue. Just put on tons of 50 sunscreen and you're fine. In Spain you always bring a beach umbrella. At home this isn't really necessary, as you can lay out in the sun all day and put on sunscreen here and there and you won't die like a lobster in a boiling pot. But here it usually is uncomfortable and senseless without a beach umbrella. Everyone has them, all down the beach. The trouble with ours was that it was occupied by Faro, my black and white friend. It wasn't big enough for 3 girls anyways. It was an awesome day, so amazing to actually see nature, and to play in good sized, cold waves, albeit with lots of seaweed.

Yesterday I danced, had a picnic outside the studio with Sachiko, who always has level-headed but sensitive advice for her friend who is almost always having some sort of trouble or other. Then I had an English class with Marcelino, which focussed on a 6 minute Sesame Street video meant to explain the Spanish words Cerrado and Abierto to English speaking children. Those are the only Spanish words used, and the exercise is excellent to teach a lot of other basic words to Spanish speakers, while being totally hilarious, with its stereotypical Mexican music. The Sesame Street character says that he loves and then hates these two words, and that "Cerrado (closed) is much worse than I supposed" because everything in his house is closed and he can't get it open to get out clothing, food, or whatever. Anyways, I am very happy to have a student whose sense of fun is well intact, despite him seeming in the very beginning to be a distinguished and intimidating businessman.

A few days before, our discussions were about his sailing trips. He has sailed 4 times from Barcelona to Tenerife in the Canary Islands, in a 12 foot sailboat without a satellite phone or radio, and without stopping, for 2 weeks. He is the one who had his own business building sailboats, in Argentina.

Sevilla has been incredibly beautiful recently. Every time I walk back from Santa cruz (which is a marvel in itself) after Marcelino's class, or after seeing Maria, I pretty much have to pass the cathedral. It is usually around sunset and there are swarms of swallows. The main streets around the cathedral are at least partly car-free, and all full of sidewalk cafes. Add to this swallows swarming and on one side of the cathedral, swooping down in great numbers across the street, with a backdrop of colourful sky and it gives the most central location in the city a feeling of a far away, deserted place that is only possible in your dreams.

I must now do work, because again I am procrastinating, sitting here writing.