"Me gustas montón, te gusto?"
"Te gustas, no... me gusto... no sé si me gusto...no, te gustas... los verbos... no puedo"
Culture shock. Not really shock, but culture head-shake... laugh and smile in wonderment. I can't help it, I love the lack of filter here between what people really feel and what comes out. Well, most of the time anyways.
I met David (pronounce Dah-veed) crossing the street yesterday. A bunch of palomas were in the street and one had just about flown into a girl, who had to duck. David said something about the pigeon beside me being good luck, and I turned to say, "como?" I mostly knew what he was talking about as I'd caught the words "paloma" and "luck" but I couldn't quite make out the rest of the words. There was a brief exchange and then he said goodbye, encantado, and went to catch up with his friends, but Luis turned around and said, "he wants your phone number". David hadn't had time to tell Luis this, so I think Luis was just trying to help him out. I could have said no, but Luis had the "6", which all cell phone numbers start with, already entered, and was expectantly waiting. For some reason I didn't find them pushy, despite that, and just went for it.
They were all from Huelva, the province and capital to the west, from whence come one kind of Fandangos. I suprised myself again when I answered "where and when" did they want to meet, without really feeling worried about it. Instincts are always right, and the best instincts are when it doesn't cross your mind what you are actually doing, that you just do it.
After a faulty start (partly due to my Canadian going out habits that I still haven't broken), we finally met up and went to the Arenal area, in the center of the city. (In Spain, you pretty much should not be worried about meeting someone until they tell you "NOW", because it will mostly always be later than you were thinking).
Fortunately I've managed to meet a guy one year older than the last one, which is a step in the right direction. If I keep doing that, I'll end up with someone od an appropriate age eventually, the problem is I think there is a limit here. I probably won't meet anyone over 30 because that's the magic number by which time they all have to have the knot tied or else they will go drifting off into... I have no idea what. He made me guess his age, and he actually looked younger than 29, so I probably insulted him by throwing out various possible ages in the 20s, in random order.
I am not going to lose my fascination with life and people here any time soon, I don't think. Canadian guys are usually smoother and more subtle than the guys here, and usually make things easier as far as giving a girl space. But they could handle some tips from Spanish guys as far as meeting girls. And it is awfully attractive to be approached directly with complete honesty and courage, which makes me consider guys that I might not normally. Then again that seems to be the way they live. Part of it is easier because they will start up conversations with anyone, at the drop of a hat, whereas that is almost some sort of a crime in Vancouver.
Bullfighting continues in this country partly due to the way it connects people to facing life and death (and the rest in between) with courage, and head-on. Too many writers have already written about all that and analysed it.
"I like you monton (heaps - a "mountain"). You are beautiful, wow you are so guapa". Later on, "do you like me?" (dancing with the bull..)
"I don't know... I am not used to the way you do things. I like that you are very direct. You are a good person."
"No, no, I am not direct. Most Spanish men are direct (semantics - directo does not translate well into direct, as far as usage - he thinks I mean quick, aggressive)... I have verguenza (shame/embarassment). Here, feel my heart (it is beating very fast)."
He puts my hand on his heart, looks me straight in the eyes, with a nothing-hidden kind of look. "I don't think you like me".
(unfortunately the knife is in my hand and if feels as though I am required to stab the bull).
Aside from feeling as though I had to either be enamored of him or stab him in the heart, I had a good time with these guys. They were really nice and funny, and I didn't feel worried at all, with them. I learned a few sayings, like "meter en el cuello" which means something like, "to go for the neck", which refers to guys who are attempting to pick up, in a less than subtle way. Alvaro, one of David's friends, was pretty drunk near the end, and was being somewhat of a harassment to the girl at the bar and to some foreign girls near us. He was being an "aguila" - eagle.
I've talked to various girlfriends at home about "dating" and the difficulty of it - how it is a slightly artificial thing. A date, by its very nature, is not an organic thing that just happens naturally. But the manner in which many guys here do things (guys like David anyways) makes it more comfortable, as it is so completely honest. Despite him saying he was embarassed, he seemed extremely confident and laid back.
Today is the election, and David asked me how I usually vote - izquierda o derecha; right or left. I say probably more likely left, but none of them are any good, which is the same in all countries. He doesn't seem bothered by that but says he votes on the right.
I will have to go check the election results. I turned David down as far as meeting up tonight. I was waiting for a procession to pass yesterday (Semana Santa is just over and a month later, there are new ones), and a garbage bin on the other side said, "leave your vote here". Cervantes had tiny packages made up to distribute to his friends, for voting purposes. They were to be put into the envelope with the ballot. Each package contained a slice of chorizo.
(By the way, for those learning Spanish, "I like you" should not be translated. You should learn that it has no translation. You have to say, "you please me", "do I please you?" If you try to translate directly subjects and objects get mixed up.)
When all is said and done, I think people have less shame for their real feelings here, than we do. I suppose that is why I am here.
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