Luis is French by birth but Spanish in heritage. He grew up in a suburb of Paris, but moved back here and has owned or run a hostel in Cadiz for a few years now. He took me to two different bars that I'd never have discovered on my own or with other tourists, one a jazz bar run by a guy from Casablanca. We missed the show but had an intense discussion on ecomonics and the state of the world, and various other subjects. His accent is easy to understand. I don't know how he manages that, with Andalucian grandparents and parents born in France... Anyways, I feel proud of my Spanish again. It just takes a situation in which I am not rushed to communicate small phrases quickly. And I listened to him for hours, only having to ask what a few words meant.
He tells me he is tired of living here and is going to Italy. Or China, after hearing my story. He says Andalucian people are close-minded, due to lack of education and lack of travel - they think they are superior. We discuss cultural differences and he tells me how shocked he was when he first realised how different North Americans are. He learned the hard way not to burst the physical bubble that North Americans live inside of, when he was told by a girl to "respect" this bubble, and not touch her while talking to her. He explained what I know already, that people here are always touching each other when they talk - and that men do the same with each other as they would with women and that it doesn't mean anything - it is simply human. I tell him what I dislike about my culture and the inhibitions I have in striking up conversations with strangers - or even interacting to something others are talking about in a conversation that started out between them. He confirms how different they are - that it really is natural for them to comment easily to the group of random people next to us.
(And aside - I went for dinner earlier, alone in a place with a few people sitting around the bar. One guy playfully threw a wadded up napkin at the waitress, she made an offhand sarcastic or joking comment to a couple beside me. The cook in the kitchen started singing, and then his assistant followed suit. The two guys on the other side of the bar got up and went to the door between tapas, and started playing palmas and singing flamenco. The place initially looked really normal and the people sufficiently professional - more like something you might find at home, if it weren't for the legs hanging above the bar).
Luis explains a great deal about relationships in Spain, with only a few comments. He is determined not to be seriously involved with a Spanish woman, because he says they want to dominate their men completely, inside their home, but when they go out they expect the guy to act really macho. From a woman's point of view, I suppose one might see it the opposite way around, but the same problem would exist. He tells me the violence towards women in Spain is higher than other European countries, and indeed I remember Loli and Marie Carmen making emphatic comments about how bad it is, and seeing on TV protests of citizens in the street for cessation of domestic violence. I tell him I have male friends at home who think Spanish men are too macho and don't care much for them. He says the opposite is true - they are all wimps (my translation) and let women dominate them completely, which provokes violence as a reaction.
He also has opinions on where the country is headed economically and it is dismal. They have little to base their economy on - he says it is mostly speculative. That people between his and my age are living at home with their parents and that is how Spain is surviving the huge unemployment (which Fernando told us long ago), but that this is going to end when the parents don't have enough money to pay for that, which he believes is coming. Then there will be serious trouble.
He says the other spots where there is big economic trouble, Greece and Portugal for example, the people have hard working mindsets, but here they don't want to work, and there is nothing being done by anyone who could do it, to give them something to work at anyways.
Luis is on the other hand, very hard working. He mentions Thursday night that if I were staying for another day he would show me a great bar for manzanilla. when I end up staying two more days, I ask him Saturday, which is his day off, if he feels like going for manzanilla. He initially says yes, and then ends up having to work, as he is putting in a new wheelchair accessible room in the hostel.
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