My computer has just been restored to normal. It's embarassing to have mold inside your computer when it's a cute guy who fixes it for you.
Things are too crazy. I must figure out a way of making it all work better. People who know better know that I am charging way too little for my classes. I am running from one side of the city and back. I don't know how to do it, but I have to do things differently, because I am agobiando-ing.
The Spanish are very sensitive to agobiando-ing. If you are doing it, they notice right away. We don't use the nearest equivalent in English, because we think it's just a normal part of life that we have to cope with. It means to get overwhelmed. But it has more meaning than our word overwhelmed. It also means to get kind of freaked out or stressed.
Next week is the Feria. I don't really care. I would like to find some other dancers to go with though. Today after Paco's class, which ended at quarter to three, I knew that I could not push myself to go home and back again by 4:30 on the same side of the city. However, I had also been up since 6:30, taught a class at the Parque Empresarial, and gone to my dance class and back. I also had Marcelino's class later, also in the same area. So instead of destroying myself even further, I sat in a bar for an hour and tried to work on my research paper which must be done by Monday for the English teaching course. They have delayed my deadline 3 times now, so I feel I have to finish now.
There was nobody in this bar at 3 pm, which didn't make sense to me. I think the crowds just kind of stick together. Some days they end up in certain bars, other days in others. The guys were putting up decorations and had Sevillanas music on. After a glass of wine on an almost empty stomach (with a little tapa of carrillada - cheek of something, pork I suppose, although it seems like beef), I felt talkative and started asking them about things. A lone businessman at the bar told me I could get in to the private casetas if I went and asked politely. Not all of them, but I would certainly find some, and I didn't even have to be dressed up. It would be easier with a couple of others, but I could go alone too if I wanted. They said these letras (there are thousands of Sevillanas verses and they invent new ones every year) were well known.
I have made a rice and chicken leg stew and am finally drafting patterns again after at least a month and a half of not doing it.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I have a few minutes as Pepa is letting me use her computer. Mine has broken down. I have too much work to do - though it is forcing me to organise and figure out how to teach classes on the spot with less resources. Then I have my certificate to finish by monday - a paper and a summary of the course and to correct something I did already.
Anyways... just a little break:
It has been crazy the last couple weeks. Last week I hardly had time to breathe. I do not have any plans to come home any time soon. That is one thing I have currently decided.
I went to Jerez on the weekend. I needed to get away. Geoffrey just got there before me and had chased some mice out through the hole in the wall in the shower, and then plugged the hole with a cork. We had some wine. The next day I didn´t feel too good, as I hadn´t eaten since 4 and then drank a fair bit, only snacking a little as both of us got there late. I slept a fair bit during the day, but managed to hang two cupboard doors and drill holes for the hinges in the others. I didn´t help him very much this time, but he was very grateful anyways.
Adela Campallo is a really lovely person and dancer. I enjoy her classes. Luckily I have some friends who I´ve just made, in the class who have helped me catch up with what I didn´t learn last month. Yu fu, from Taiwan and Miho from Japan. There are lots of other nice girls too. Today Rafael, her brother, substituted for her. I really enjoyed his class. He still reminds me of my cousin Trevor. He´s an excellent teacher, and can be very serious about the important aspects of dancing, particularly the simplest (but most difficult) things that most people tend to overlook: to connection with the music, the complete control of all your movements, taking things slowly and relaxedly. He seems to be always smiling or laughing: even while making us do an extremely repetitive exercise that exhausts us. He adds accents all over the place and just plays. No wonder he seems happy, smiling and laughing: who wouldn´t be, if your entire job involved playing with rhythm? What better possible thing in the world is there? He tells us he doesn´t think of himself as a dancer with particularly fast feet (you would laugh if you saw him dance). He says his special mark is adding accents in the right place. What he says is true - there are others who do ridiculous machine-like footwork that wows people, but doesn´t say a lot.
Anyways, I must go, probably use a computer at the library, or plan out the rest of my lessons for tomorrow on paper.
Anyways... just a little break:
It has been crazy the last couple weeks. Last week I hardly had time to breathe. I do not have any plans to come home any time soon. That is one thing I have currently decided.
I went to Jerez on the weekend. I needed to get away. Geoffrey just got there before me and had chased some mice out through the hole in the wall in the shower, and then plugged the hole with a cork. We had some wine. The next day I didn´t feel too good, as I hadn´t eaten since 4 and then drank a fair bit, only snacking a little as both of us got there late. I slept a fair bit during the day, but managed to hang two cupboard doors and drill holes for the hinges in the others. I didn´t help him very much this time, but he was very grateful anyways.
Adela Campallo is a really lovely person and dancer. I enjoy her classes. Luckily I have some friends who I´ve just made, in the class who have helped me catch up with what I didn´t learn last month. Yu fu, from Taiwan and Miho from Japan. There are lots of other nice girls too. Today Rafael, her brother, substituted for her. I really enjoyed his class. He still reminds me of my cousin Trevor. He´s an excellent teacher, and can be very serious about the important aspects of dancing, particularly the simplest (but most difficult) things that most people tend to overlook: to connection with the music, the complete control of all your movements, taking things slowly and relaxedly. He seems to be always smiling or laughing: even while making us do an extremely repetitive exercise that exhausts us. He adds accents all over the place and just plays. No wonder he seems happy, smiling and laughing: who wouldn´t be, if your entire job involved playing with rhythm? What better possible thing in the world is there? He tells us he doesn´t think of himself as a dancer with particularly fast feet (you would laugh if you saw him dance). He says his special mark is adding accents in the right place. What he says is true - there are others who do ridiculous machine-like footwork that wows people, but doesn´t say a lot.
Anyways, I must go, probably use a computer at the library, or plan out the rest of my lessons for tomorrow on paper.
Monday, April 9, 2012
I had a cancellation tonight, so I jumped at the chance to buy groceries... don't know how I was going to manage to eat properly otherwise. Things have heated up.
Anyways, rather than getting at my work that still needs to be done, immediately after snacking on some finally decent bread (had to run across the river to get it), it sat down at the dining room table (just a tiny table good for two or three really). Pepa was reading on her kindle or other e-book thingy, but as soon as I sat down we started to chat. This was really necessary as last week was loca - semana santa and her grandchildren here and she finally sick the last few days. I feel like an unsociable weirdo eating in my room in front of the computer. It's what I always did in the previous place because of the unpleasantness of my companeras, and for that matter, the dining room. I have had tons of stuff to do as well, so took every chance to be in front of my computer.
Pepa told me of her family - she has three children. Her husband died quite a long time ago and she came back to the city of her birth, after living most of her life in Rio Tinto and Huelva (capital of a neighboring province). Mainly she told me about going to Asturias with her husband, where he was from, on vacation in August. You'd think any Sevillano would be glad to get out of the unbelievable heat during that month. She said she couldn't understand why her sister in law woke them up in the morning because it was sunny and they should all go to the beach. She jumped off a big stone into the ocean, as everyone else was doing, and said she just about died of cold. At first the greenness everywhere was so beautiful. But after a couple days of clouds, and then more clouds and rain. She said, "I'm not a cow. I'm not going to go around eating all this green. I need sun!" And wanted to go back to Andalucia. She said after 28 days of this, she was really depressed.
She tells me about this neighborhood and how everybody knows everyone, and about how open they are. It is true. You can feel it when you cross the bridge. I have had that thought a number of times myself, but she says this is true. People are just that much more friendly here, as if they weren't already in Sevilla center. It is significantly more relaxed.
Anyways, rather than getting at my work that still needs to be done, immediately after snacking on some finally decent bread (had to run across the river to get it), it sat down at the dining room table (just a tiny table good for two or three really). Pepa was reading on her kindle or other e-book thingy, but as soon as I sat down we started to chat. This was really necessary as last week was loca - semana santa and her grandchildren here and she finally sick the last few days. I feel like an unsociable weirdo eating in my room in front of the computer. It's what I always did in the previous place because of the unpleasantness of my companeras, and for that matter, the dining room. I have had tons of stuff to do as well, so took every chance to be in front of my computer.
Pepa told me of her family - she has three children. Her husband died quite a long time ago and she came back to the city of her birth, after living most of her life in Rio Tinto and Huelva (capital of a neighboring province). Mainly she told me about going to Asturias with her husband, where he was from, on vacation in August. You'd think any Sevillano would be glad to get out of the unbelievable heat during that month. She said she couldn't understand why her sister in law woke them up in the morning because it was sunny and they should all go to the beach. She jumped off a big stone into the ocean, as everyone else was doing, and said she just about died of cold. At first the greenness everywhere was so beautiful. But after a couple days of clouds, and then more clouds and rain. She said, "I'm not a cow. I'm not going to go around eating all this green. I need sun!" And wanted to go back to Andalucia. She said after 28 days of this, she was really depressed.
She tells me about this neighborhood and how everybody knows everyone, and about how open they are. It is true. You can feel it when you cross the bridge. I have had that thought a number of times myself, but she says this is true. People are just that much more friendly here, as if they weren't already in Sevilla center. It is significantly more relaxed.
Friday, April 6, 2012
El Torta March in Jerez, Tientos Tangos I was there.
I abandoned my mother
I abandoned my mother
For your love, only.
Only for your love.
Now I find myself without my mother,
alone and without your love.
Now I find myself without a mother, alone and without love.
Double edged dagger.
the love of a woman
a double edged dagger.
I think always on love/ Think that love always is (?)
I was hanging from a thread.
He who has pain doesn't sleep.
I am always sleeping,
... cousin/close female friend, I have no pain.
I lost myself in your arms
Like a Feria doll,
And I can't get out.
Like a feria doll and I can't get out.
The gitanos are sleeping
the trees are singing,
the moon is dancing on the river
Gypsy was my mother,
gypsy was my grandmother,
and the moon that shines on me,
gypsy too.
....without you I can't live.
And I cry and I cry and I cry...
I abandoned my mother
I abandoned my mother
For your love, only.
Only for your love.
Now I find myself without my mother,
alone and without your love.
Now I find myself without a mother, alone and without love.
Double edged dagger.
the love of a woman
a double edged dagger.
I think always on love/ Think that love always is (?)
I was hanging from a thread.
He who has pain doesn't sleep.
I am always sleeping,
... cousin/close female friend, I have no pain.
I lost myself in your arms
Like a Feria doll,
And I can't get out.
Like a feria doll and I can't get out.
The gitanos are sleeping
the trees are singing,
the moon is dancing on the river
Gypsy was my mother,
gypsy was my grandmother,
and the moon that shines on me,
gypsy too.
....without you I can't live.
And I cry and I cry and I cry...
This morning my narrow pedestrian alley below my tiny balcony was humming with passersby by 9:00. I finally got up around 11, and went out into the street right away. The crowds have continued until now, 1 pm. The Virgen has just returned from the entire night of being carried around the city. I went to the foot of my street and tried to get a glimpse of her among the throng that filled the entire street for blocks, and the Plaza behind me. I wandered back and forth; every alleyway leading onto Calle Pureza was crammed with people hoping to see the paso as it passed. I settled for glimpses from a distance, and then went to have breakfast at a sunny bar on Rodrigo de Triana (same street where I go to school). The bar was crammed of course, with people doing the same thing as me. I stood at a table outside and looked at the tropical plants and geraniums on some particularly beautiful balconies. The various processions winding up for today were being broadcast on the TV in the bar, and being watched by Pepa and the boys when I got home.
The alley smells strongly of urine - no surprise with people having to wait hours in crowds. I heard a couple of saetas on TV and now I have to go to work (just here in my room). As an aside - I think I understand what stitches are for, as my finger is still bleeding at times, a whole week after cutting it.
The alley smells strongly of urine - no surprise with people having to wait hours in crowds. I heard a couple of saetas on TV and now I have to go to work (just here in my room). As an aside - I think I understand what stitches are for, as my finger is still bleeding at times, a whole week after cutting it.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
There is standing room only at 1 am in the morning, with people filling all streets leading towards the Arco de la Macarena. It is not raining and the processions for tonight are going ahead. I went to Mara's place to help her proofread a paper for submission to a scientific journal - she is a biologist. Her house is on the riverfront, just around the corner from mine. It was 12:45 and Calle Pureza, the one just back from the river, was lined with people staking out a spot. The sidewalk is full and people are spilling off into the streets. They will wait for a while, since the procession isn't due to come out till 2:00. I should go out and watch it. I don't know why I can already hear drums. Perhaps they've gone out earlier than expected tonight due to threatening rain.
Uh... stupid. No. They go out on time. I just waited an hour to see a bunch of guys in pointy hats. The paso was coming really soon, but I literally couldn't stand the cold one more minute. You can make pancakes at 3 am really, really quietly, if you really really need to.
Now I am sitting here with a hot water bottle on my lap eating pancake and hoping I don't get a cold, right when I am working really hard on learning a new choreography, and can't in any way afford to miss a class.
Yesterday was my first day dancing hard. One hour of class, two in the studio. I have not done any at all for more than a month. Not even studio. I cannot really afford the time or money for the studio, but that is beside the point. Some things are not negociable. The rest will work itself out somehow. Yesterday I looked and felt like I was going to fall over, walking down the street. I got home and ate a bunch of chicharrones, then made other more typically healthy stuff, and later after teaching two classes in the evening bought meat. Today I feel the opposite - totally amazing after 2 hours of hard practice.
Yesterday I also ending up walking significant distances across the city, due to the inability to take a bike, because of the pasos and crowds blocking streets. I shopped in Nervion (the distant suburbs) due to the Corte Ingles department store being the only grocery store in all of Andalucia open till 10 pm, and the Nervion location being the only one accessible to me at that time of night, during Semana Santa. It is now 3:40 and I can hear the Virgen coming out of Pureza street. I can hear the band that accompanies her, that is.
Today is Madrugada. That is why the pasos are starting out in the middle of the night. They will go all night, several lasting until noon tomorrow. This also means that all day today, people were dressed in black and women had the huge combs in their hair with black lace veils. The whole city was out in the streets, sitting, standing, talking, eating and drinking. And queing up to visit the pasos inside the churches before they went out tonight. Today and tomorrow are holidays. I am inside the house with the doors shut, but I can hear massive applause from the enormous crowd still gathered in Plaza Altozano.
Uh... stupid. No. They go out on time. I just waited an hour to see a bunch of guys in pointy hats. The paso was coming really soon, but I literally couldn't stand the cold one more minute. You can make pancakes at 3 am really, really quietly, if you really really need to.
Now I am sitting here with a hot water bottle on my lap eating pancake and hoping I don't get a cold, right when I am working really hard on learning a new choreography, and can't in any way afford to miss a class.
Yesterday was my first day dancing hard. One hour of class, two in the studio. I have not done any at all for more than a month. Not even studio. I cannot really afford the time or money for the studio, but that is beside the point. Some things are not negociable. The rest will work itself out somehow. Yesterday I looked and felt like I was going to fall over, walking down the street. I got home and ate a bunch of chicharrones, then made other more typically healthy stuff, and later after teaching two classes in the evening bought meat. Today I feel the opposite - totally amazing after 2 hours of hard practice.
Yesterday I also ending up walking significant distances across the city, due to the inability to take a bike, because of the pasos and crowds blocking streets. I shopped in Nervion (the distant suburbs) due to the Corte Ingles department store being the only grocery store in all of Andalucia open till 10 pm, and the Nervion location being the only one accessible to me at that time of night, during Semana Santa. It is now 3:40 and I can hear the Virgen coming out of Pureza street. I can hear the band that accompanies her, that is.
Today is Madrugada. That is why the pasos are starting out in the middle of the night. They will go all night, several lasting until noon tomorrow. This also means that all day today, people were dressed in black and women had the huge combs in their hair with black lace veils. The whole city was out in the streets, sitting, standing, talking, eating and drinking. And queing up to visit the pasos inside the churches before they went out tonight. Today and tomorrow are holidays. I am inside the house with the doors shut, but I can hear massive applause from the enormous crowd still gathered in Plaza Altozano.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Taking very precious time to write... I must focus and drop off the blog horizon for a while. Moved to Triana. Went out Sunday (Domingo de Ramos - one of the most important days of Semana Santa, when everyone and their children, dog and grandmother are crowding the streets, and dressed up). Spent the day chatting, eating tapas, drinking wine, and out navigating crowds, despite rain, in heels. I was supposed to be paying, in order to say thanks for helping me move, but I was refused, despite a valiant attempt.
Pepa is really sweet and her daughter Marta lives with her. Marta has two adorable 10 year old twins who live with their father. They are really nice, polite, smart boys, who visit often. Pepa often calls me "querida" ("love"), and while she has strict expectations about how to keep things clean, at least it is all clear and discussed openly and nicely, and she does the major cleaning. All I have to do is keep the kitchen and bathroom wiped up after myself.
I started my first dance class since August, yesterday, with the lovely and renowned Adela Campallo, sister of Rafael, with whom I studied last year. It is an intermediate class, and the moves are not difficult, but they have already been learning them for a month, so I have to catch up fast, which is hard for me. The trouble is the speed with which everyone is already executing them. Here is Adela dancing the exact thing she is teaching us:
Galeras - Spanish sailing ships synonymous with awful forced labour, and "condemnation" - a very gitano theme.
Semana Santa is a chance to catch up on some class planning that is really stressing me, and to try to finish off my English teaching certificate. I really need to rent a studio again to practice or it is going to be no use taking classes. I don't know where I will fit that in. Not exactly sure how all this craziness is going to work out. I am making (when nobody cancels classes, and there are no holidays work a whole week) just barely enough to get by on, and that is being more spartan than I sometimes manage. If I have all scheduled classes I have 12 hours per week. But I seem to be working more than full time, planning. I do not feel that I can fit in more students at this point, unless they are back to back with others of the same level... even then...
I must start working.
Pepa is really sweet and her daughter Marta lives with her. Marta has two adorable 10 year old twins who live with their father. They are really nice, polite, smart boys, who visit often. Pepa often calls me "querida" ("love"), and while she has strict expectations about how to keep things clean, at least it is all clear and discussed openly and nicely, and she does the major cleaning. All I have to do is keep the kitchen and bathroom wiped up after myself.
I started my first dance class since August, yesterday, with the lovely and renowned Adela Campallo, sister of Rafael, with whom I studied last year. It is an intermediate class, and the moves are not difficult, but they have already been learning them for a month, so I have to catch up fast, which is hard for me. The trouble is the speed with which everyone is already executing them. Here is Adela dancing the exact thing she is teaching us:
Galeras - Spanish sailing ships synonymous with awful forced labour, and "condemnation" - a very gitano theme.
Semana Santa is a chance to catch up on some class planning that is really stressing me, and to try to finish off my English teaching certificate. I really need to rent a studio again to practice or it is going to be no use taking classes. I don't know where I will fit that in. Not exactly sure how all this craziness is going to work out. I am making (when nobody cancels classes, and there are no holidays work a whole week) just barely enough to get by on, and that is being more spartan than I sometimes manage. If I have all scheduled classes I have 12 hours per week. But I seem to be working more than full time, planning. I do not feel that I can fit in more students at this point, unless they are back to back with others of the same level... even then...
I must start working.
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